Twelve Resolutions for 2012

Well gentle readers, obviously I haven't been around much of late. I've haven't forgotten to post or even that I've been too busy to post. I haven't posted because: 1) I'm lazy & 2) I haven't really felt like I've had anything to say, well, anything interesting at least.

Is all that going to change? Am I going to start post with any sort of regularity? Honestly, probably not. I am going to try though. Somebody once said that you need to shoot for the moon so that even if you miss, you'll still be among the stars. I'm only hoping to get off the ground.

While considering my two reasons (laziness and boring-osity) for not posting and for my life in general, I've decided that something has to change... me. I have to take steps to becoming something better than I am right now. So, here are my twelve resolutions for 2012:

1) Floss daily - okay, so I was having trouble starting this list and I went with my usual. I put this on my resolution lists most years and it lasts maybe two months, if I'm lucky. This year, though, I resolve to actually Floss daily for the entire year and I really mean it... just like every other year.

2) Tweet daily - I think it's important to be putting out some kind of daily bit of humor or interesting information, just to keep my mind active. Also, at 140 or whatever characters, this seems like a low impact blog.

3) Upper or full body workout once per week - I'm going to hit the whole laziness thing pretty hard in my resolutions. Shoot for the moon... stars... off the ground... you get the idea.

4) 45 minutes of cardio or cardio equivalent exercise every day - again, battling laziness.

5) Clean up my share of the house once per week - this is like the flossing thing. Who knows, I may actually do it this year.

6) Eat more greens - just a good idea, really.

7) Work in the garden one morning each week - I like it, but lately I just haven't been putting in the effort, I really need to get back out there. The grass in the back yard is knee high and I'm pretty sure most of the sprinkler heads are broken. If I turn on the sprinklers, I'm sure I'd see fountains that rival the Bellagio's.

8) Continue doing daily comedy building exercises - I started doing this a few weeks ago and while I have to admit that I've skipped more than a few days, for the most part I've been doing it. The comedy building exercise I'm doing comes from Judy Carter's Comedy Bible. I'm not going to explain it here, since I feel that if you are interested, you should buy the book.

9) Weekly cultural excursions - I need to see more things out in the world, open my eyes to other people's forms of expression. To this end, once per week I want to go and see improv, stand-up, movies, storytelling, art galleries, performance art, live music, and everything and anything else that Los Angeles has to offer... well, not everything else, I'm probably not going to want to see anything that is too depressing.

10) The Weekly Quest! - on every Sunday, I want to challenge myself to a quest that I have to tackle that week. My Holy Grail of the week will probably seem tame to some, but will probably be a challenge to me. I'd like to give you examples of what I have in mind, but it's Monday and I'm only going to be coming up with them on Sunday... and it's only 2011, not 2012.

11) Create and perform a five minute stand-up routine - while this sounds like a weekly quest, I think it'll take more than a week to get my butt up on stage and perform five minutes of comedy by myself.

12) Write a weekly blog post - This is a key part of why I'm doing all of the above (except maybe flossing or eating greens). I'm making a change to my life and I want to document my change into the 30th most interesting man in the world - or at least the 800th most interesting man in the San Fernando Valley or wherever I end up.

Jeez, that's one big, unedited ramble... I hope it makes some kind of sense - and even more I hope that I actually do 90% of it. Well, if I don't do it, you'll know it because my next post will probably be dated six months to a year after this one.