In honor of the season, I've collected the rules from the Scream trilogy. (thanks to wikipedia for the material)
Scream - Rules for surviving a horror movie
- Don't have sex.
- Don't drink or do drugs.
- Never say "I'll be right back."
- Don't ask "Who's there?"
- Never investigate any strange noises
Scream 2 - Rules of the horror sequel
- The body count is always bigger.
- The death scenes are always much more elaborate, with more blood and gore.
- Never, ever, under any circumstances assume the killer is dead.
Scream 3 - Rules for the concluding chapter of a trilogy
-The killer is going to be superhuman. Stabbing won't work. Shooting won't work. In the third one, you have to cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up.
- Anyone, including the main character, can die.
-The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Any sins committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you.
-Basically..In the third movie, all bets are off.
Showing posts with label Law of narrative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Law of narrative. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The Laws of Narrative (V)
V) The Glove Law (AKA. Fletcher’s Law (A))
This law is purely visual, so it is only found in film and television. When all you can see of a mysterious figure is a pair of gloves at the end of long sleeves, the mysterious figure is female.
When a director wants an actor who portrays the villain to do a physical “evil act” on camera, but doesn’t want to give away which character is the villain, they’ll show only the villain’s hands during the “evil act”. When the hands in question are large, manly hands, this isn’t a problem. Audiences are used to seeing male hands doing physical actions, so it doesn’t really register. If those hands are smaller female hands, they stand out and give away too much. Instead, those small hands will be hidden in gloves, usually either black leather or gardening gloves. So, when all you can see of a villain is black leather gloves as they strangle someone or crush a skull or flip off an innocent pedestrian, the culprit is female.
This law is purely visual, so it is only found in film and television. When all you can see of a mysterious figure is a pair of gloves at the end of long sleeves, the mysterious figure is female.
When a director wants an actor who portrays the villain to do a physical “evil act” on camera, but doesn’t want to give away which character is the villain, they’ll show only the villain’s hands during the “evil act”. When the hands in question are large, manly hands, this isn’t a problem. Audiences are used to seeing male hands doing physical actions, so it doesn’t really register. If those hands are smaller female hands, they stand out and give away too much. Instead, those small hands will be hidden in gloves, usually either black leather or gardening gloves. So, when all you can see of a villain is black leather gloves as they strangle someone or crush a skull or flip off an innocent pedestrian, the culprit is female.
Friday, October 5, 2007
The Laws of Narrative
IV) The Law of the Missing Major Character
Any major character from a series that goes missing will be fine. No matter how built up the story will be about them being in danger, don’t worry. As much as the writer may hate the character, publishers and producers know that fans of the series would be pissed if their favorite character just disappears. Pissed off fans don't pay for the next part of the series. So, no matter how dire the disappearance, the character is just waiting for the rest of the main cast to catch up with them. Tuppence may have been kidnapped by villains of the worst sort, but she’ll be fine when Tommy finally realizes that he needs to rescue her. Richard Jury may be bleeding to death on a dock, but he’ll still be alive when Melrose finds him. George Kirrin may have said she’s running away forever, but she’s really just playing with her dog on the island, waiting for the rest of the five to come to Kirrin on holiday.
Any major character from a series that goes missing will be fine. No matter how built up the story will be about them being in danger, don’t worry. As much as the writer may hate the character, publishers and producers know that fans of the series would be pissed if their favorite character just disappears. Pissed off fans don't pay for the next part of the series. So, no matter how dire the disappearance, the character is just waiting for the rest of the main cast to catch up with them. Tuppence may have been kidnapped by villains of the worst sort, but she’ll be fine when Tommy finally realizes that he needs to rescue her. Richard Jury may be bleeding to death on a dock, but he’ll still be alive when Melrose finds him. George Kirrin may have said she’s running away forever, but she’s really just playing with her dog on the island, waiting for the rest of the five to come to Kirrin on holiday.
The Laws of Narrative
The Laws of Narrative
III) The Law of the Missing Minor Character
Any minor character that goes missing is dead. A character that’s “going home to free their country” died before he got to the boat. When you hear “Dad usually calls on his business trips”, dad never even made it down the street. If a guy ever says, “The boss is on a trip and can’t be reached”, that guy probably killed the boss and buried the body in the garage.
III) The Law of the Missing Minor Character
Any minor character that goes missing is dead. A character that’s “going home to free their country” died before he got to the boat. When you hear “Dad usually calls on his business trips”, dad never even made it down the street. If a guy ever says, “The boss is on a trip and can’t be reached”, that guy probably killed the boss and buried the body in the garage.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Axel Olrik’s Laws of Epic Narrative-
EPIC LAWS OF FOLK NARRATIVE
Axel Olrik. "Epische Gesetze der Volksdichtung." Zeitschrift für Deutsches Altertum, Vol, 52 (1909), 1-12.
The Law of Opening and Closing (Folk narrative does not begin with sudden action or end abruptly)
The Law of Repetition (Events are repeated, often 3 times)
The Law of Three (Things come in threes)
The Law of Two to a Scene (Each scene will contain only two speaking characters. Any other characters present will remain mute.)
The Law of Contrast (Folk narrative loves contrasts: weak & strong, poor & rich, man & monster, good & evil)
The Law of Twins (Folk narrative is fond of twins, however, if they play a major role, they will probably be subject to the Law of Contrast [one bright, one gloomy])
The Importance of Final Position (The youngest son will have our sympathy, the last test will be decisive)
The Law of the Single Strand (Folk narrative follows one temporal strand of action. It does not shift scenes to follow parallel actions)
The Law of Patterning (Repeated scenes will be as similar to each other as possible)
The Use of Tableaux Scenes (Certain moments of folk narrative evoke a strong visual image.)
The Logic of the Sage (Folk narratives find their plausibility not in their sense of reality, but in a certain internal narrative logic)
The Unity of Plot
The Concentration on a Leading Character
Axel Olrik. "Epische Gesetze der Volksdichtung." Zeitschrift für Deutsches Altertum, Vol, 52 (1909), 1-12.
The Law of Opening and Closing (Folk narrative does not begin with sudden action or end abruptly)
The Law of Repetition (Events are repeated, often 3 times)
The Law of Three (Things come in threes)
The Law of Two to a Scene (Each scene will contain only two speaking characters. Any other characters present will remain mute.)
The Law of Contrast (Folk narrative loves contrasts: weak & strong, poor & rich, man & monster, good & evil)
The Law of Twins (Folk narrative is fond of twins, however, if they play a major role, they will probably be subject to the Law of Contrast [one bright, one gloomy])
The Importance of Final Position (The youngest son will have our sympathy, the last test will be decisive)
The Law of the Single Strand (Folk narrative follows one temporal strand of action. It does not shift scenes to follow parallel actions)
The Law of Patterning (Repeated scenes will be as similar to each other as possible)
The Use of Tableaux Scenes (Certain moments of folk narrative evoke a strong visual image.)
The Logic of the Sage (Folk narratives find their plausibility not in their sense of reality, but in a certain internal narrative logic)
The Unity of Plot
The Concentration on a Leading Character
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Laws of Narrative: Christie's Law (A)
The Laws of Narrative:
II) Christie’s Law (A) - If you don’t see the body, they aren’t really dead.
Many Agatha Christie characters die “off screen”. There is much dialogue about the death, but we (through the viewpoint character) never actually see the corpse. This is a trick to stop us from suspecting that the dead character is the murderer. Remember, murders are like potato chips, one is never enough. Thus, in the last chapter, we find that the “off screen” victim has been alive all along. They’ve either been hiding in the hidden passages or they’re dressed up as a secondary character that we’ve barely noticed, happily wreaking havoc.
Don’t believe it the next time you read: “he died in the war” or “he was poisoned in Egypt” or even “the police found his body”. He’s either hiding behind a secret door or pretending to be the butler. And we all know what butlers do best.
II) Christie’s Law (A) - If you don’t see the body, they aren’t really dead.
Many Agatha Christie characters die “off screen”. There is much dialogue about the death, but we (through the viewpoint character) never actually see the corpse. This is a trick to stop us from suspecting that the dead character is the murderer. Remember, murders are like potato chips, one is never enough. Thus, in the last chapter, we find that the “off screen” victim has been alive all along. They’ve either been hiding in the hidden passages or they’re dressed up as a secondary character that we’ve barely noticed, happily wreaking havoc.
Don’t believe it the next time you read: “he died in the war” or “he was poisoned in Egypt” or even “the police found his body”. He’s either hiding behind a secret door or pretending to be the butler. And we all know what butlers do best.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Laws of Narrative: Banacek's Law
The Laws of Narrative:
I) Banacek’s Law - When something that is impossible to steal is stolen, then either it was never there or it is still there.
Every time my dearly beloved and I would sit down to watch Banacek, we'd place a bet: “Never there" or "Still there”. Banacek was a ‘70s mystery show about an over-the-top-cool investigator who solved seemingly impossible thefts.
Let me paint you a picture that didn’t actually appear on the show. Say there’s a heavily insured frigate moored at pier 10. It’s under a large tarp. There are armed guards 24/7. On the night before the big party to celebrate the frigate being un-tarped, catastrophe. The frigate is missing, pier 10 is empty. “But that’s impossible!” the 70s actors all say. Normal insurance investigators are flummoxed. Only George Peppard, as freelance investigator Banacek, can figure out what happened, for a fat fee.
By the end of the episode we’ll see that either:
1) The frigate was actually a large balloon painted to look like the frigate. During the night the owner strolled out to the frigate, pulled out the cork and the frigate-balloon deflated to the size of a basketball that was then thrown away. Luckily, the tarp was really stiff and held that “frigate shape” until morning. Thus, the frigate never was actually at pier 10.
2) Some evil bastard switched the signs and we’re actually standing at pier 11. You see that frigate over there? The one by that other sign. That’s the stolen frigate. You see the frigate is still at pier 10, just like it’s always been.
I) Banacek’s Law - When something that is impossible to steal is stolen, then either it was never there or it is still there.
Every time my dearly beloved and I would sit down to watch Banacek, we'd place a bet: “Never there" or "Still there”. Banacek was a ‘70s mystery show about an over-the-top-cool investigator who solved seemingly impossible thefts.
Let me paint you a picture that didn’t actually appear on the show. Say there’s a heavily insured frigate moored at pier 10. It’s under a large tarp. There are armed guards 24/7. On the night before the big party to celebrate the frigate being un-tarped, catastrophe. The frigate is missing, pier 10 is empty. “But that’s impossible!” the 70s actors all say. Normal insurance investigators are flummoxed. Only George Peppard, as freelance investigator Banacek, can figure out what happened, for a fat fee.
By the end of the episode we’ll see that either:
1) The frigate was actually a large balloon painted to look like the frigate. During the night the owner strolled out to the frigate, pulled out the cork and the frigate-balloon deflated to the size of a basketball that was then thrown away. Luckily, the tarp was really stiff and held that “frigate shape” until morning. Thus, the frigate never was actually at pier 10.
2) Some evil bastard switched the signs and we’re actually standing at pier 11. You see that frigate over there? The one by that other sign. That’s the stolen frigate. You see the frigate is still at pier 10, just like it’s always been.
The Laws of Narrative: Introduction
Over the years, my dearly beloved (who happens to be a writer) has referred to what she calls the "Laws of Narrative". These references are usually complaints, when some story (whether book, movie, or tv show) fails to obey her holy writ, which has never actually been writ. I intend to rectify that, and quantify the laws as I've been able to observe them in action.
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